College

College is a topic that have posted about recently. And the word that I most commonly associate it with is loneliness. For me, college has been all work and no socializing. I have been so focused on getting better at what I do, that i have forgotten to make friends. My existence here is a lonely one. I may surround myself with the sounds of music and the images of art but I have been solitary in all ways. I haven't really done any group activity that wasn't required by a class. My social skill here has dropped considerably. I though college would be a place that I could be myself, anyone I wanted to be. The truth is that(or at least I think) I found that I don't like who I am. I am quiet and reclusive. When I talk, I tend to talk too much, too loudly, and too much about myself. I can see why I don't hang out with people. I am afraid that people will see me.  The me that is imperfect and has flaws. I feel that I can't even really be my dorkyself, my nerdy self, my dweeby self. I think I need to come out of my shell and start talking. Forgetting myself consciousness. I need to attempt to be social, and get out there. Now I must go back to English class and talk, one of the only places I do talk.(Other than to myself)

Mack G